Secret notes to my administrative types...

This is my fourth set of duty days. They are generally the same.... Since I'm only a lowly faculty member who didn't want to go to the meetings to organize duty days, this is my only outlet..... It was pretty interesting to see that the worst duty days offenders were in the old-school category....

So -- my secret notes....

To the College President: I love that you read us poetry to start the year... I'm actually happy that you are our college president. Would you come with me if I get a job in Red State -- they could use you as the head guy in charge wherever I go.

To the Academic VP: Your debater roots are showing and I love it. For next year y'all need to invest in a remote microphone shut-off switch... really. I could see that it bothered you and I appreciate you trying to keep things on time. Thanks! Also, if you could manage a move to be my VP in Red State it would be much appreciated... we could all buy neat little houses near the school and become our own little commune --- think about it.... Hubby and I are good neighbors and we'd cat-sit for you when you went out of town.

To the disorganized woman: If you are on the agenda to introduce new employees, you don't get to make other announcements because you are too f-ing disorganized to request agenda time. If I recall, you did that last year and probably the year before... that is cheating.

To the long-winded pair: Your group got 10 minutes TOTAL, not 10-15 minutes EACH. We don't need to know every detail of every thing you are doing in order to see that you are doing your job... talk to eachother and prioritize before next year.

To Mr. Important long-winded guy: It is a good thing the people you need to deal with on a daily basis weren't in the auditorium... they'd decide that you can't tell time and thus shouldn't be trusted with the amount of money you control. I know your department can afford a stopwatch, please invest for next year.

To the others who went short and tried to get us back on time: You are my heros and I would think long and hard about breaking my no non-teaching or debate activity rule to help you out.

To those who put us behind -- as a group you are on my ignore list. Unless I am contractually obligated to help you out, you can count on me turning you down. I hold a grudge....