Friday, August 04, 2006

One more day... updated...

Tomorrow hubby becomes LDH (to borrow a phrase from new kid.

Yesterday we fought with the photo printer to print some photos for hubby to take with him... and they still don't look as good as when we printed them from the PC... Next week I may chuck the f-ing thing that never really has worked right and get a new one that really WANTS to work with my mac...

Last night hubby went out to play poker with longtime friend (who needs a better name..), he came home having made some money. He offered me half, but what he doesn't know is that he's going to spend it all on a good dinner sooner or later in Red State --- probably someplace he doesn't like. That will be his price...

Last night Bex came over for a visit. She's also moving to Red State tomorrow to go to grad school. She and Rex are moving in together and she's in a good place about it. They've had all the good moving in together discussions -- -about money, habits and other stuff -- and I'm sure that is going to go well. She's starting grad school at my grad school, although in a very different department. If all goes well we'll both be PhDs from Red State U...

Today hubby packs up the Jeep and I pretend to be ok with it. I can't really be ok with it, yet, but I'll spend the day pretending that it is really ok that this great guy, whom i've lived with for 16 years, won't be here.

I feel like I'm being silly -- he isn't dead, we aren't divorced, he's only moving 5 hours away (the way I drive :) ). I know we'll talk a least every day, if not twice per day. I know we'll IM, play cribbage on Pogo and all of that -- he'll come up over Labor Day and I'll probably go down a couple of weeks after that. He'll be home for fall break etc... and if things go well, I'll be moving myself and the cats in the next couple of years.

But I'll still miss him. I'll miss him when I go to the grocery store and there are other couples there debating whether the recipie calls for cream of chicken or cream of mushroom, I'll miss him when I wake up in the middle of the night and I CAN turn on the light to read for a while before going back to sleep. I'll miss him as a cat feeding partner. I'll miss his laundry in the bathroom where he can't manage to hit the hamper. I'll miss him when I drive by his empty parking space in the garage. I'll miss him on debate trips and at debate meetings. I'll miss him when I'm in the DC... and I'm sure there are numerous ways I'll miss him that I haven't even considered yet.

For all my love of travel, I don't particularly like to do it without hubby -- and I've done the travel to see hubby thing before.... but, not since we've been married. It isn't like he's going to the other end of the earth, Red State is pretty 'different' (as in Minnesota 'different' -- i.e. weird in ways we don't care for) but we've lived there, so while it is strange-- it isn't unfamiliar.

I think I'll get used to it, and I'll try not to cry --- Sooner or later it will become routine, and I'm not sure if that will be a good thing or not.

Update ---
It wasn't all that bad -- a few moments, but otherwise just kind of dreary....

Tomorrow we drive to Red State, meet the family of the person hubby will be housesitting for etc... I suspect that once we are in motion, things won't be so bad. Next weekend we'll spend with a family thing in Iowa. I'll head home with family, he'll head back to Red state.

Thanks for the support --

6 comments:

Addy N. said...

I'm so sorry you both have to go through this. I hope it isn't too awful and that it is ONLY temporary (and brief)

DRD said...

"I think I'll get used to it, and I'll try not to cry --- Sooner or later it will become routine, and I'm not sure if that will be a good thing or not."

That is what struck a chord with me... I want it to be routine enough that it doesn't feel like torture every time he leaves, but I still want to want to be with him if that makes sense. Hugs to you today.

Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

I'm sorry too. My husband and I were long-distance for the first year of our marriage, which was really hard. Although, sometimes we still joke about "why don't you ever call me anymore?!"

Abbey said...

I'm sorry he's leaving, I don't think I realized he was going to be gone so long.Hopefully you'll be able to move sooner than you expected.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Y'all are so sweet, thanks!

So far things are going ok...

We'll be together for the next week or so and will say goodbye for almost a month next weekend in Ames...

T-Mac said...

Hey, I don't think it's silly at all to miss someone you love, cut yourself some slack and hang in there!