Mom is gone, so I want to have my say...
First of all -- I'm not really New Kitty anymore, I prefer Princess Purrrfect.
Now, to reply to Mom's questions --
1) What is she hunting? --- I hunt everything. Bugs, leaves, birds and bits of fluff. I do it because I'm borrrred. I'll explain more later...
2) What does she have against the DOT!? I hate, hate, hate that f-ing dot. I want to hunt it down, kill it and bring it's corpse to daddy. I don't know where the dot hides, although I suspect Mom has something to do with it -- as the DOT! doesn't come out when she and daddy are gone.
3) Does she really see herself in the bathroom mirror? Yes, of course I do. Mom and dad look in the mirror and so do I. Just because extra-toes is an oaf who hasn't discovered the wonder that is me in the mirror doesn't mean that cats can't see themselves. I also look at myself in the bedroom mirror and the dresser mirror... or, haven't you been watching me carefully enough....sigh. I suppose you see me because I need to supervise your bathroom activity -- and, although I don't approve of that water pouring on your head, I let it go -- so let me look at myself in the mirror in peace.
4) What does she think is in the hall? In the hall is EVERYTHING I want to hunt. There is also a lot of stuff that needs scenting. I've been in the hall twice recently -- and both times daddy paid attention to me... so, daddy's attention is in the hall. When 'school' starts, I'm also sure that daddy is just down the hall -- and mom is keeping me from him because she's jealous -- bitch. Also, I can't tolerate closed doors -- and in the hall there are many more closed doors for me to challenge... just knowing they are out there is very tempting --- so, next time pay attention to me when I demand to be let out, or I'll grow thumbs and let myself out.
5) How did she get blue ink on her right front paw? Umm -- that's private, mom. I'm not nearly as good at handling a ballpoint pen as you are, so it isn't nice to poke fun. If you must know, I'm trying to learn to write long hand. I've been reading on-line etiquette sites, they say that handwritten notes are better form than e-mail, so I figured I need to be able to write if I'm going to be polite.