Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I can see how it happens...

... how people become Cancer Patients first, whatever they 'were' second.

A month ago today I had the lumpectomy. Since then, most of the people I've seen have been related to my care as a patient. I now have a GP, a surgeon and an oncologist. Each of them has a nurse or two working with them. I've met two anesthesiologists, and a whole bunch of radiologists have looked at images of my insides.

I've been scanned in just about every way possible -- each scan comes with at least one tech to run the machines and give me the radioactive stuff...

The most human conversation I've had recently has been with my surgeon -- when we've discussed her daughter's challenges -- her daughter goes to BNCC.

When I'm not at appointments, I try to find other things to think and talk about. The problem is that while I feel good -- concentrating on my work isn't easy, so I end up watching TV. Talking about TV is really, really boring.... What is even more boring is when people talk about their doctor's appointments.

Well -- the real problem is that what I've been doing in the last 6 weeks or so is going to doctor's appointments. Next week I'll get my port (to directly inject the chemo) -- and then I think I'll have about 10 day off from appointments before the chemo... So maybe my perspective will change.

The thing is, I'm someone who is resisting being a Cancer Patient --- but, it isn't easy. For someone who wasn't resisting it, wasn't as educated or concerned about her 'self' as an intellectual being, it would be very easy to be Ms. Cancer Patient.

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