Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My cat is the Jane Goodall of cats....

Sometimes I wonder if my cat is really the Jane Goodall of cats.

He was sent by the cat society to live among humans to study their behaviors and society.

He is trying to understand our habits and routines, our sleep patterns and eating behaviors.

Getting locked in the apartment has been both a boon and a problem for my cat. He cannot understand what it is that I do when I leave the door, and he's not allowed to venture into the HALLWAY.... on the other hand, he has unlimited access to us when we are in the apartment.

He has been with the humans a long time. I'm sure that in the last few years the internet has been helpful to him in sending his reports back to the others.... although, the humans have frustrated that effort by developing laptops and then taking them with them into the HALLWAY.

The recent development of the male of the species being in the HALLWAY for long periods has been a new twist to the living arrangements. It has been helpful in that he has been able to observe extensive phone behaviors, as well as having more access to sleeping behaviors than in the past. On the other hand, his observations of human sexual activity have decreased significantly. He is unsure if we have sex when we are in the HALLWAY.

As usual, he is also watching our interactions with the other cats, the 'pet' cats... those cats who are not as intelligent as he, nor as functional. He notices that the blind cat has a recent behavior of waking the human female with random vocal patterns (his ESP has long been disconnected, the victim of his cognitive disfunction). The female pet cat is, as usual, more of a breating stuffed animal than anything. The cat is taking careful note that the human female has continued to feed and care for this stuffed animal, as if she is a real cat.

The cat is currently wondering if the female human has finally detected his experiment. If so, he reasons she'll 'blog' about it, and thus self-report to the cats outside the apartment. He trusts that their superior analytical skills will decipher her messages and add the data to his field reports.

It is time for the female human to return to bed, the cat is indicating as much. He realizes that his superior intellect may be harming the scientific validity of the study by influencing human behavior, but his affection for the human female as well as his personal ethics require that he act in her own best interests.


Rhonda said...

I have a cat like this, although I tend to wonder if she's not a human researcher who managed to disguise herself as a cat for the purposes of her study.

Arbitrista (formerly Publius) said...

Heh. My cats wish they were as smart as stuffed animals. Sounds like you've got a good one.

Minor Ripper said...

Check out this cat that apprently mated with a dog and gave birth to half cat/half dog...