Sunday, November 19, 2006

16 years

16 years ago today, my hubby and I were wed in a small ceremony in Colorado. My mother and sister were there, as were two Air Force friends.

When I look at the photos I hardly recognize us. Hubby is very thin with large metal framed glasses. I'm much thinner than I am now with tacky late 80s glasses and longish curly blonde hair. Hubby is wearing his Air Force blue uniform, I'm in my best silk blouse and skirt. There are many sweet photos of us, taken by my sister. There are also many photos of our best man -- because Pam thought he was hot. These are the only photos of our wedding.

We had no money for a big wedding with a photographer, caterer etc... no money for a big white dress, tuxedos etc. We could pay our bills and were living in our own apartment with our cats (two of which we still have, the old one and the blind one) -- but a big wedding was out of the picture. To this day I'm sure we made the right decision.

Our wedding day was sweet and special and focused on our future -- not focuesd on a big party for a bunch of other people. We got married in the new courthouse in our area and one of our favorite wedding photos is us in silhouette against a really pretty window.

We were married by a judge who, in 1990, asked if I wanted to include 'obey' in our vows. I made one of my first feminist decisions when I declined to promise to obey hubby. On occasion I'm sure hubby wishes that I had promised to obey him :) -- but I'm sure that was a good decision as well.

In retrospect, I am amazed at the good decision I made when I was only 21. I look at my students and realize that many of them are the age I was when I got married... and I realize that it probably wasn't intelligence, intution or wisdom that made me say yes when he asked.... rather it was probably a combination of good karma and plain old good luck.

We've lived in three states.... We lived in Colorado for a couple of years after we got married, then we moved to Red State and then to BN state. I suspect we'll finally land in Red State, although if we ended up someplace else all together that would be fine with me too. As long as we are together, we can make anyplace our home.

It seems rather appropriate that he proposed while we were on a trip... Although we've always lived inside the Louisianna Purchase together -- we've travelled quite a bit. We've been to three of the four corners of the country. We've seen all the oceans together and a lot of what is in between. We've been to Canada together, as well as the Grand Canyon and the north woods. We've been to places as empty as Slater, CO and places as populated as LA, Chicago and Washington DC. Over winter break we'll spend some time in the desert, and probably over the summer we'll go to an ocean together again... it has been a while and we are both longing for the salt water and the biggest water there is. I'd like to see New York City at least once, and maybe see New England and Maine while we're in the area.

We've had 4 cats together... one (Piccard) who tried to suffocate me :) -- and three who will be waiting in BN state for me when I return. He had two of the four when we got back together. His story about saving the Old one from freezing to death in a Red State winter sealed the deal for me... I knew then that he had to be mine. Thank goodness my step-dad worked for an airline and I could go visit him in Colorado...

We've been egg-heads together.... Since we've been married we've earned 4 degrees between us (two BAs and two MAs) -- we're both working on PhDs... slowly but surely. We've coached a lot of debate together -- meeting some really wonderful people, as well as many arrogant and nasty people. I'd like to think we are nearly done with that part of our lives... but I do wonder what we'll do instead.

We've had a few jobs -- including working at McDonalds together for a while -- He did several things in the Air Force, I worked as a maid, I answered phones, I did telemarketing, I managed hairdressers and I worked for a credit union before I started to teach.

In the future, I'd love to teach a class with hubby -- he's an energetic and innovative teacher. I think our students would love to have a capstone course on International Relations and the Ethics of War -- if only we could teach at the same place... or even in the same state... sigh.

We've spent today like old married people often do... this morning is none of your business ;) -- this afternoon we've been lounging around the house a bit -- I've been reading "The Bookseller of Kabul" and he's been grading. We went out a while ago for bagles and coffee, bringing them home to watch an episode of "House" while we ate. In a few hours we'll have an early dinner at the "Melting Pot". I'll go back to BN state on the first flight out tomorrow morning. He'll be back in BN state the next evening for Thanksgiving break.

I'm much more sure today than I was 16 years ago that this is the guy for me. He's sweet, pasisonate and supportive. He stands-up for what he thinks is right and sets out to make things better however he can. He's a political moderate with a heart of gold -- and if the world would only bend to his intelligence and common-sense, things would be much better.

In the next couple of years, I'd like to have us living in the same state -- but even if we never achieve that, we'll figure out how to live, love and laugh... and, always to be sarcastic together.


Addy N. said...

Congratulations on 16 years! I'm glad that things have worked out so well for you (even though you were so young when you so young when you got married). Congrats!

bungle said...

[in my best Tony Soprano voice:]
Oh fer cryin' out loud this is just too much to take.

Ok ok, this message is for yer Hubby, so back away from the monitor Ms. PF so's me an' yer Hubby can have a man to man, capice?

Mr. PF, you seem like a fella with upstanding ideas and a good head on yer shoulders so's I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and some sage advice that might save some wear and tear on yer eardrums.

You been hitched to Ms PF for 16 long assed years and I bet you still don't have the whole "chick" thing figured out yet. Well have ya mebbe noticed that she just won't ever shut her yap? She drones on and on and on, don't she? Of course! She's a dame, THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!

Now, us regular guys, you know, we have ways of coping with that whole Motor Mouth Syndrome. Why do you think we belch, fart and scratch ourselves right in front of them in the most indelicate of moments? Just a little Woman Repellent does wonders for a marriage, keeps the couple sane.

But you... you don't have a prayer just using the time honored ways of keepin' 'em real. No, you in your infinite wisdom just had to go and get stuck with a woman who is a PHILOSOPHY MAJOR! UNREAL!

You know anything about the Diarrhea of the Mouth Club? That's us, philosophy majors (aw fergit the letters after the name they don't mean shit in our line there's no such thing as a fukking Wisdom Expert we're all MAJORS until...).
Mostly guys but you'd think we was chicks the way we blab on and on endlessly ad infinitum. The chicks who ARE philosophy majors are capable of powers exponential Niagra Falls worth of blab.

You really hit the jackpot there Flyboy. So from me to you, lemme lend a hand. Get in touch with the engineering dept. geeks and have 'em rig up fer you a special sensor that detects when wifey says anything like "I think..." or " my opinion..." fer starters. Have them attach this to a shock collar and tell her to wear it. It will be the best anniversary present you ever give yourself. Your sanity and sense of hearing will thank me later. Good talkin' to ya, lemme know if there's any-ting else I can do to help.[end of Tony Soprano Voice]


Happy Anniversary!

Dr. Lisa said...

many many more happy returns! Congrats!

timna said...

so sweet! all of the oceans? or all of the ones bordering North America?
hope you get jobs in the same state!