I recently realized that this will be my 7th year teaching, four at the same school. My all-purpose syllabus is about 5 pages, as every semester it grows with my pet peeves.
In reality, my biggest pet peeve are students who don't bother to read the damm thing in the first place. I decided last semester to give them a take-home quiz on my top 10 most important points. It was a much better semester -- which makes me realize that most of my students don't want to be bozo jackasses, they do it out of ignorance rather than malice...
Removing the old favorites like, (more or less) 'I'll remove your ability to bear children if you cheat' kind of statements -- my favorites are about the following -- paraphrased to be what I really think... not the leagalistic language of a syllabus :).
--- Minimum/Maximum grade --- "minimum grade" if you work really hard in my class, ask for help etc --- you won't fail. You'll get a D, but won't fail. I reward honest effort. "maximum grade", if you are an asshat who sleeps in class, is disrespectful, consistently late to class etc... no matter how good your graded work, you will get no more than a C.
--- Attend the whole class meeting -- leaving early is a sign of disrespect and is very disruptive to the flow of the class. Don't do it. If you can't stay for the whole class, don't come -- because I don't want you leaving in the middle. ---- Doctor's appointments should be made outside of class time, I do it and so can you. If your appointment is so important that you need to leave class early, you should make sure you are on time and take the class period off. Yes, it will count against your attendance -- no, I don't care.
--- If you can't handle discussing controversial topics, find another class. ----Don't go complaining to my dean that I had the nerve to have a pair of married lesbians into class to discuss same-sex marriage. They weren't there to offend your senisbilities, they were there to open your closed little minds -- and, by the way, one of those "horrible" lesbians would have been your classmate a couple of semesters ago -- and you probably would have gone to her for help with class material because she's f-ing smart... so there you hateful twit...
What are your favorites -- either that you encountered as a student or included in your own syllabus?