Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Some people don't exist in my world...

... really, there are three former people out there. They look like everyone else and I hope others treat them well. For me, they don't exist.

If you know me, you know that I'm a pretty even tempered person. I'm also pretty forgiving of faults and make plenty of mistakes myself. I hope that I'm able to laugh about them and learn from them -- which I try to do. I also like a wide variety of types of people -- y'all know how hubby and I are similar and different --- and our differences are sometimes surprising to those who know only one of us. I love people who challenge me and make me think --- and political differences that lead to world view differences (or vice versa) are fascinating to me. I also like people of vastly different cultures and religions -- or states of non-religion. As a quasi-Kantian I can even tolerate utilitarians...

But, some people just make me boil. There is nothing I can do about that once they get to that point. Interactions with them just spiral down and the only solution is to put those specific individuals in the 'non-person' category.

Usually these people start out as quasi-friends. I have acceptable interactions with them, perhaps even some level of fun and hanging-out activities. At some point things go south. I see that their world view and mine are so different as to be nearly offensive to be around -- and at that point I don't see the use in trying. I'd rather be alone than to be with them -- and I'd rather do all the work than have to do it with their help.

I don't tell them that they don't exist. There is no need to start any kind of continued interaction in which the non-existing person wants to argue with me and I tell them that they are wrong for this or that. It is a useless and hopeless waste of energy on my part. Frankly, I don't care what they do or don't do. It is no longer my concern. They can fall off the face of the earth, be abducted by aliens or cure HIV/Cancer and the common cold and I wouldn't be impressed or care one way or the other.

These people have taught me one thing -- the opposite of love isn't hate it is apathy. When they are non-persons I don't hate them, I am well past that -- I'm apathetic toward them and I won't interact with them.

It takes a lot to put someone on the 'non-existing' list -- In 39 years only three have managed to do it. They may even know one another or know of one another -- but I suppose they'll never know that they are their own exclusive little club -- and I feel no need to tell them, because that would mean talking to them.

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