Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tired and more than a little homesick...

First of all -- the tired is a) not as bad as usual NPTE tired and b) not nearly as bad as 'end of chemo tired' -- so, it isn't all that bad.

The homesick is cumulative -- Since the beginning of 2009 I've been out of town for the following reasons...
January --
1) Short vacation with Hubby to the north shore and to see Mom. Nice, relaxing but still out of town -- about 5 days or so.
2) Trip to Red State -- 5 days (MLK day helped!!).
3) Conference in Cali -- 4 days

4) 5 days in Red State
5) Trip to Florida that wouldn't end -- 11 days

6) Spring Break, split between Red State and NPTE in Cali -- 10 days,

So --- out of about 90 days, I'll have spent 40 of them out of town for one reason or another... and I'm the one that 'lives' at "home" -- of the two of us.

I'm also homesick for a particular combination of having Hubby in BNstate with me. He spent his 'spring' break with me (the ' ' is because his uni does it so early that we joke that you get to go elsewhere to experience spring, but when you come back it's still winter). But --- I want the permanent Hubby back. I want us to be "us" all the time. We kind of get that back over summer and winter breaks, but since he's had to go back to Red State, it seems as if there is a shadow hanging over the fun ( or the not so fun summer-o-cancer). I want that to end.

Really, when it comes down to it, you know how you feel when you've planned a fantastic vacation -- full of beautiful places, good food, pedicures and other treats? But -- it's a ways off... and it seems like it will NEVER come? That's how I feel about Hubby coming home to stay -- that it's right, the good thing to do and it should happen NOW -- darn it -- I want him to get on ALL the airplanes with me today... I want him to come home to see what The Minion did to the apartment this time. That's really what I want to happen.... and it will, soon enough.

No comments: