Almost two years ago I had an interesting conversation with a bright former debater and current coach about being a lesbian. She'd just been haning out with a cute lesbian friend (CL) when a drunk college kid (we were at a tournament) accused them of both being "lesbos" after CL turned down his drunken advances. CL offered to teach my friend how to be a lesbian -- which got my friend thinking...
I'm not a lesbian and neither was she (now NLF) at the time (don't know about now... lost touch :( ). NLF and I decided that we liked the strong woman thing, we loved birkenstocks and comfortable clothes, but we couldn't deal with the actual having sex with a woman part of being a lesbian. We decided that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, we just aren't.
As these kinds of conversations go (especially with her, we also decided NLF isn't unsocial, just not a friendship ho..) we decided we needed another term for what we are -- we ended up with "cultural lesbian". It applies to women like us, who are strong and unafraid of being so.
As a result, we end up with more than our share of lesbian friends -- which is fine -- because they are generally in the same place we are.... strongish women, no kids, often a committed spouse and sometimes a pet. We can bond over not meeting some Cosmo expectation of beauty and generally not wearing make-up or taking shit from people.
Hmmm... interesting first post for 2006