Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Question -- call for wild speculation....

Context: I'm at the coffee shop --- my wonderful, brilliant (honor society member, in fact), kind, compassionate and not to expensive house cleaner is working and I like to stay out of her way.

Every time I come to this coffee shop, I see the same dude. I think of him as Coffee Shop Dude (CSD from now on).

CSD is probably in his mid 50s with Longish gray hair and glasses. He always wears jeans and in the winter a black down coat. He uses a PC laptop and drinks Mountain Dew. He goes outside to smoke about every hour or two. When CSD speaks, everyone on our side of the coffee shop can hear him.

Once in a while he seems to tutor some other dude in physics. This has been going on for at least three semesters, if not more -- and some other dude doesn't seem to get it... or, finish the course for that matter.

When I arrived today (about 8ish AM) CSD seemed to be getting some kind of spiritual counseling. It ended when the counselor told CSD he was being manipulated -- it wasn't clear from the discussion whether the manipulator was human or the devil... but CSD went out for a smoke and the counselor packed up quickly and left before CSD came back.

So -- the big question is -- how the heck does CSD earn a living? He always seems to be at the coffee shop, and last I knew they don't pay people just to sit there and use the free internet access.

Please, entertain me with wild speculation in the comments -- today will be kind of a long day.


Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I'll start...

CSD runs one of the rabidly conservative blogs that originate in BNstate. He lives on property he inherited. His shack doesn't have electricity or an internet connection, because he doesn't want to be 'on the grid, because the liberal wackos can find you and brainwash you..'. He funds his daily Mt. Dew purchase with ad revenue.... which is about all it will cover.

He doesn't want to get a real job because he doesn't want to pay taxes on his income, especially now that the liberals will be in control -- and he is really bad at having other people tell him what to do -- because he thinks he's smarter than they are.

When he's not at the coffee shop, he's home trying to figure out how to build a bomb from stuff you can get free on 'freecycle'.

Seeking Solace said...

How about Internet scam or Panzi sceme???

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I'd think internet scam over ponzi scheme -- mostly because he's pretty shifty looking and thus people who met him would be unlikely to give him money.

Maybe he's the one sending me spam about fresh fish and penis enlargement.... if so, his grammar is crappy and he needs a comp 1 class from one of my buddies!!

~profgrrrrl~ said...

I think he ghost writes new age self-help books when he needs additional income.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what he does, but he must commute between your coffee-shop and my coffee-shop!

Barbara said...

Maybe he's on disability for mental problems, so he gets a check every month that covers rent/utilities/daily soda/cigarettes, and tutors on the side to fund anything else?

Bitty said...

He was part of a one-hit wonder group, the Dairyaires, in the late 60s. Despite the fact that his group disappeared from view following its brief success, he is a millionaire several times over thanks to royalties. He wrote the group's hit song "Noodlely," which has been covered by no fewer than 127 artists, including Kenny Rogers and 50 Cent.

CSD always wanted to be a physicist but he never had the focus to actually earn a degree. Instead, he is a self-taught semi-obsessed semi-genius in the subject.

When he is not in your coffee shop, he is in WalMart's electronics department fixing the alpha order for the CDs and DVDs.