Friday, January 16, 2009

Long distance relationship, thoughts...

(knock on wood) this is the first week of the last semester we'll be long-distance.

It will have been three years total -- which was my limit from the beginning.

There are a few things we did -- mostly accidentally -- that made it easier..
  • All of our phone numbers were in the same area code -- thanks to the wonders of vonnage. I never, once, thought about the time or expense of calling hubby --- I just called.
  • We still have one "home" -- BNstate. Hubby is housesitting -- which wasn't easy for him to adjust to, but made decisions about breaks and summer easier.
  • I kept my (tenured) job. Thank goodness :).
  • We were within a reasonable driving distance --- thus, no airline hassles etc.... just 400 or so miles of Corn.
  • We don't have kids -- so we could easily share the travel (except last semester, aka the chemo semester).
There are a few small things that made the whole experience a pain in the backside...
  • Generally, we miss talking to one another casually --- on the phone just isn't the same and I won't do the "Pam and Jim spend the day together" bit from the Office -- for one, it would be too confusing to try to teach while he's teaching too :).
  • We've missed just hanging out together -- and the spontaneous fun that creates.
  • We'll have to get back in the habit of being able to work when we're together.
  • We've got two of many things --- and a total of four printers.
  • We moved to a smaller place in BNCC -- and in May hubby's stuff will all come home..... including the tacky blanket he bought in Tijuana... (although, the blanket could be a useful bargaining point to get rid of an item yet to be named --- hmmmm... :) ).
  • I suppose one good thing is that all the clothes I brought down here three years ago will also come home -- i.e. instant wardrobe boost.
I think the experience was worthwhile -- we learned to be a lot more independent. Hubby had some valuable experiences at his uni--- and did some good teaching too :)!! That isn't to say that we'd do it again. Financially, it wasn't a good decision --- but, it seemed to make sense at the time.

Overall, I'll be happy to have him home in May. We'll spend a summer together working and playing before he starts law school in the fall. I'm also happy NOT to be moving to Red State. It would have been a worthwhile move for a good job -- but, the prospect of finding another job, a new place to live etc -- just made me tired. Really, it is worth having to postpone my sabbatical to have hubby home.


timna said...

Thanks for the list. We're looking at a one year long-distance relationship, but not much commuting available!

Either I'll get the fulbright and be far, far away, or I won't get it and only be in Israel!

Our questions (besides my family's 'how will your marriage survive?' are more about whether the 15 year old should come with me or stay with his dad!

Sounds like for you overall it was ok for the duration and that it will be better that it's done.

Contemporary Troubadour said...

My long-distance relationship will officially no longer be long-distance in May, too. This is our eighth year of it (not all of the years were consecutive -- we got a two-year reprieve during which we got married). But I can totally feel your anticipation of being done with the commuting!

Enjoying your blog :)