A new blog... and a link that works..

So, FB and I decided to start a blog... leftyconcarne

We're going to talk about food, life, politics and whatever comes into our twisted little minds as we navigate life, love and the internet.

Come give us some love -- or, at least put us in your reader... please.

bonus --we refer to one another by our first names -- so, you can figure out that much :).

A quick update...

• Classes are going well -- my logic students are kicking butt -- and my ethics students are humming along just fine.
• Today we talk about stripping in ethics -- always fun.
• I've lost 54 lbs since June -- exercise and eating less... the boring way..
• I've joined the gym FB and I go most days. I alternate treadmill and weights -- and am feeling stronger all the time.
• Hubby's doing well in law school, as expected.
• Super-Mom's in Flordia for the winter -- although, we haven't really had winter here yet :).
• The Queen and the Minion are having a complex relationship lately -- lots of spats and lots of cuddles...
• The hardbound copies of my dissertation arrived -- it's really, really official -- I'm Dr. ItPF... amazing.

Fall...

Transitions are tricky times... the leaves are coming off the trees, the weather is changing drastically and things are a bit unsettled.

Super-mom is now officially off to Florida for the winter, just in time.

My students are starting to realize that their past work is limiting their future grades -- and that they still have a lot to do.

I'm probably catching a cold -- which sucks, but once you've had chemo, a cold is nothing...

Packing it up...

... my dissertation materials, that is.

My home office has been a shambles for a while... I realized how long it's been a mess when I saw that my desk pad calendar started with August 1 (btw, the first time FB and I had coffee was noted there... hmmm).

So, I cleaned up and packed away my dissertation paperwork. It feels good.

I left out my current project on cyber warfare, but the rest of it is in a box in the corner -- where it belongs.

I also reviewed my feminist epistemology paper from a few years ago -- I'm presenting it at a faculty brown bag next week -- and I was happy to see that the argument actually makes sense, even three years after I submitted it to fulfill Ph.D. requirements... YEA!

Funny how things wok out...

I had dinner with someone who needs a psuedonym..

For now we'll call her New Girl... she's a new member of our department... and she's pretty cool.

She's from another part of the country -- and she's loving the fall leaves.... she's also looking forward to winter, which is refreshing around here.

Last night we had Vietnamese food -- (our server was the restaraunt owner's daughter -- and a former student who remembered me from 6 years ago :) .

Afterward, we saw an intersting philosophy lecture at a local SLAC -- which got us thinking and talking on the way home..

Perhaps the best part is that I found out that NG loves, loves, loves to write logic problems. I hate, hate, hate to write logic problems -- but, I don't have a problem writing logic text. We agree that the current logic books suck -- so, I think we're going to end up writing a logic textbook together...

What's actually pretty cool is that NG has a bunch of logic problems already written -- so, I suppose I can start writing while she finishes her dissertation... hmmmmm....

A fun, relaxing Tuesday...

.. so far I've:

gone back to bed for a nap
texted with my buddies
graded some on-line quizzes
sent an e-mail, but haven't checked my school e-mail..
read some blogs and facebook
met FB's parents and watched him bake an apple pie
played with some dogs
shared a subway sandwich with FB
drank a chi tea latte fusion

FB is doing some business now -- and after a while we're gonna go workout...
then, maybe a burger?

not a bad way to spend a Tuesday ---eh?

On conferences, workouts and life...

A good friend/colleague and I went to a local big-idea conference. It was lots of fun to go, listen to the best speakers and just think and learn. It wasn't in either of our "fields", but we kept finding interesting things about both the presentations and the presenters... lots to think about.

At the conference I met a really fun old-friend of my colleague.... I eventually told her that I had a mastectomy, pointed out the breast form and she asked to touch it... it cracked me up... nobody else has done that...

I've also joined a gym -- the same gym as FB... he's been working out for a while and persuaded me that I really do need to join him -- so, I did. It should be fun --and he'll keep me on track.

Today FB is coming my direction to talk to someone at BNCC about their program. I know he'll be a good fit in it... and I hope he's settled on doing it. It would be a postitive move in his life -- and in the end I know he'll be fantastic at the job.

I'm also stunned that I'm about half way done with the on-line grading stuff for my hybrid class... we're in week 7 of 13... can you believe it? There's more at the end... for some stupid reason we have a 16 week semester... plus final's week... (who thought that up??) -- but, so far I've been caught up on grading all along... which is pretty impressive given how much I've been out of town, playing and generally not paying attention to work :).

Breast Cancer Awareness Month....

Yikes --- for someone with breast cancer, it's a long month.

Frankly, I've had two years and 5 months of Breast Cancer Awareness.... the rest of you are only aware of it in October, lucky you...

I'm aware of it every day, in my pjs I'm lop sided -- in my bra, I can feel the breast form... yep, aware.

I look in the mirror and see the thin hair at the front where it will never come back after chemo... yep, aware.

I feel my left thumb -- where there is a little bit of permanent numbness due to chemo... yep, aware.

I have a clean PET scan report on my fridge.... yep, aware.

I have a lovely oncologist and his nurse's number in my phone... yep, aware.

I have annother check up with my oncologist in January... yep, aware.

Go ahead and do all the fundraising stuff you want, please -- if it helps you, do it. Buy stuff with pink ribbons if you really think part of the proceeds go toward helping breast cancer research. Run, walk, crawl sing or do whatever you want to do to ward off the demons of breast cancer...

I contribute in personal -- very personal -- ways. I was part of a drug study to see if the drug worked on non-metastisized breast cancer. I give individual advice to folks in my life who are struggling with it -- I'm kind of the breast cancer spokeswoman in my circle of friends and students - they come to me when they need to understand, when they need to have something helpful to say to someone they are close to. I do this all year long...

It would be easier, much, much easier for me to spend some cash and buy stuff with pink ribbons on it... and, frankly, I'm very glad that most of you don't have the kind of personal experience with the disease that I have.... so you can't contribute like I do.

Honestly, I'm glad there's a great lobby for my disease. I'm glad there's a fantastic marketing campaign for my disease. I've benefitted from those efforts both directly and indirectly -- and I'm grateful -- don't get me wrong... but, the month of October is long and full of breast cancer talk in the media etc.. and it's a constant reminder of my disease -- that it could come back and kill me.

Breast Cancer -- breast forms!!

I intentionally have a kind of odd title for this post, because I want it to pop up in serch engines..

For quite a while, I resisted getting a real breast form -- I used the cotton filled ones, they looked terrible, but that's just what I did.

One of the reasons I resisted was because the one place I knew to get a "real" one was a kind of weird place, with a pushy salesperson who insisted on putting me in an icky bra first.

It was only last month that I decided to walk in there and stand firm about wearing my own bra --- and now I have a decent breast form... it looks kinda like the real one... which is great.

That isn't the point of the post -- the point is to let folks know about how amazing Nordstroms is...

I went in for a new bra. I hadn't been properly measured etc... and I knew they were the best at it.

I walked in and immediately a sales person took charge -- measured, brought me bras, helped me sort out the breast form and did it all with such a good sense of humor and professionalism that I was completely comfortable.

What's really amazing is that, if you have a prescription for a breast form and/or bras (which mastectomy patients can easily get...), they'll submit all of it to your insurance. My insurance covers a swim form, a regular form and three bras per year -- you bet I'm going to do it...

So -- for the record -- Nordstrom's is the place you should go if you've had a mastectomy or lumpectomy and need some special help to look "normal".... I'm sure that I would have avoided two years of being uneven, had I been able to go someplace as fantastic as that -- I'll even forgive them for being at the Mall of America...

Post-dissertation...

We're about a month into the fall semester, and it still seems kind of odd..

I'm just not accustomed to having nothing ELSE to do -- work, home stuff, hang with FB -- but, no dissertation chapters to write, revise, send to Dr. Advisor -- while that is more of a relief than anything, it's also kid of odd.

Sure, I'm also department chair, but those activities were part of my non-Dr. ItPF status -- so, they don't feel extra now. For quite a while there I was teaching, dissertating and coaching debate. I quit the debate three years ago, and applied that time to the dissertation.

Now -- the dissertation is defended... I don't have to work on it -- I don't have to write chapters so my students can read them-- they're done.

My classes are on auto-pilot -- in the good way. I'm happy with them and I see no need to reinvent them. I like my assignments, the pacing of the classes and the way the students respond. So, I have no new class prep.

I promised myself that I wouldn't change books until I was Dr. ItPF - and, I didn't... now, I have the same old books... so, again, no new class prep. The thing is -- I'm kind of sure the books I have are the best ones out there... so, again, no need to change.

So -- I find myself with time on my hands -- on a regular basis... it's kinda weird. The way my on-line grading is set up, I can often get it finished on Friday or Monday between classes.... or, in a semi-concentrated span on Monday nights--- or, casually over the weekend.

I suppose things will be a bit different when my logic students start taking proof quizzes... but, I'm also very quick at grading them -- and, really -- it isn't all that challenging.

So -- the question is what's going to be my new thing -- my new challenge -- the thing that replaces the dissertation and debate coaching in my life...

FB had an interesting suggestion -- maybe I need to learn to just be -- to not be so busy. To take time to simply relax, read, enjoy just living and not be so concerned with being occupied ALL THE TIME. Hmmmm.... that's kind of hard -- given my background.

The thing is, since I was 17, I worked and went to school. I took about 3 years off in Denver/Omaha -- in the middle of my BA -- but, since my junior year in HS, I've been working and schooling. The work and the schools have changed -- but, the combo has been a fact of my life for 24 years. That's a whole adult -- a fully-functional college educated adult's life --- I've been working and schooling.

For three of the last 5 years there was a long-distance marriage -- so, there was working, schooling and driving to Omaha... last year, the dissertation got more intense, but they hubby came home -- so, it balanced out.

Now -- Hubby is really wrapped up in his 2L year -- and I'm much less busy. I think I like it... and I'm seriously considering FB's "just be" suggestion -- but, it's hard --

hmmmm.... maybe that IS my new "project"... because it is hard, it's a challenge -- and once I accomplish it, I can go on to other challenges...

or, does that kinda miss the point?

FB -- if you're reading -- log in and comment please... the rest of you too...

I should be clear... about FB

... because, in a previous post about FB, I was kind of ambiguous.. and I've been thinking about this a lot lately..

If FB and I were a romantic/financial unit -- I'd trust him to manage our money. From what I can see, he's actually quite good with what he has -- I'd just make the assumption that I'd pay all the bills... which would be fine for me.

The thing is, money isn't all that important to FB, which is something I really like about him. He's interested in being able to pay his bills, not buy a huge house in the suburbs -- and impress his neighbors. That's quite appealing. He also knows how to have fun without spending a wad of cash -- which is something I appreciate.

The other really nice thing about FB is that he is quite sensitive to others -- and looks for ways to be helpful / supportive to his friends. Tonight we had a good talk about my post-dissertation life -- and, as usual, he was perceptive and correct... that's why I hang out with him.

yea -- it's me --so what?

Hey -- you... the person who printed out some of my blog posts and left them in my BNCC mailbox.

Yea -- that's me, so what? Lots of folks have already found it -- and don't care.

I know folks from BNCC read the blog --- and have for years. Frankly, I doubt they read anymore because it's actually a pretty boring and self-serving blog... but, it's mine and that's the way I am sometimes.

I don't know what the point of printing the stuff and leaving it in my box actually IS... because, you see, you didn't leave a note, sign it or anything. Just a pile of printouts from my little blog.

Read back a while, I broke the code kind of -- I have all kinds of identifying photos and other stuff on my blog. I was NEVER trying to hide from BNCC folks. All I wanted to do was to make sure that a) a stranger googling me wouldn't find it and b) my dissertation committee wouldn't get upset and deny me the Ph.D. (like they would -- they're cool, but I didn't know that when I started..).

Further, my hubby, FB, friends, relatives and mom read it -- although, again, I'm not sure why.... so, if you're trying to tell me that you know -- at least be an adult and sign the printouts.

ps... the printouts just went in the recycling.. and I'm done thinking about it. If you have something to say, you clearly know where I am.

Hope for "normal"

Tomorrow I have another check-up with my oncologist.

So far all of my PET scans have been "normal"... and, I hope tomorrow is no exception.

I'm trying really hard to hang onto my own advice of not being worried about medical test results I don't have yet...

I'll let you know how things turn out...

An unusual situation...

...or, as FB's mother called it, an "awkward" situation... which is what my friendship with FB seems to be from the outside.... as a reminder, FB stands for Fake-Boyfriend -- (or, I suppose Facebook Boyfriend -- because we reconnected via facebook)... not F'ck buddy...

From the outside, it seems odd that a happily married ItPF and a single and straight FB would be very good friends. The kind of friends who communicate every day-- usually via exchange of texts -- who do routine errands together (going to Costco with FB is pretty fun!!), and who support one another in awkward or emotional family situations... FB and I generally travel well together in the car -- and Hubby doesn't have the time to do that stuff..

The thing is, the IfPF/FB thing works -- for us.

Hubby is seemingly what makes this awkward --- from the outside. Oddly enough, this week circumstances made it look as if FB were upset with me for something (he was just napping... for a long, long time -- thus, not responding to texts...) -- and Hubby was pretty concerned that I'd lose FB as my friend... and his.

The thing is, it's impossible to know how the FB situation would have happened -- or IF it would have happened, if I were single. Would we be such close friends with the potential for nookie looming out there? Would we be such close friends if one of us wanted nookie but the other wasn't interested? Would we be great friends who also have sex? It's impossible to know -- I know that FB and I are compatible in many ways that make for a great relationship -- but, incompatible in ways that make for a great marriage... We have very similar values, hopes and expectations of our partners -- but, very different acceptances of financial risk and acceptable spending patterns.

Maybe our friendship is exactly what it is because our compatibilities match and our differences aren't an issue... I don't have to worry that he won't be able to pay the cable bill -- and he doesn't have to be concerned that I'd easily spend $100 on a red leather bag --of which I seem to have a plethora... or $25 on a pedi -- and $75 on a wax...

In the end, there are only four people who really need to be concerned about the ItPF/FB relationship -- The two of us, Hubby and FB's son (with whom I get along with famously..). Those are the people directly impacted by our friendship -- who could be hurt by it if they didn't understand it -- and who see us individually and together on a regular basis... and anybody else who isn't directly concerned can suck it!! :).

That good kind of tired...

It's near the end (for me, anyway) of week 3.

Students are digging into the material, getting some grades back and asking good questions.

They're getting more demanding -- but, in a good way.

The clueless ones are starting to figure out that others have clues and they need them too.

Class is becoming more of a cooperative venture -- and each class is taking on its own charachteristics... until now, they were all the same... one blurr of unfamiliar faces... but, now they've got some personality...

Wednesday is a big teaching day for me -- but, not impossible. Tonight, I'm happy that Hubby has an evening class and that FB has guitar students -- because I need a little quiet and will be decompressed by the time hubby gets home and/or FB starts the texting ritual.

In the meantime, I have a good playlist going, a pizza on the way (EXACTLY as Ilike it) and some student administrivia to deal with... while the Minion flips out... good thing he has energy because I sure don't..

Getting stuffy....

A paraphrased student e-mail, with the real salutation...

"Hey"

I can't be bothered to stay for the whole semester and my friends found a great deal on a trip to Mexico -- where we can drink and get pot easily... so, is there any way to take the final early?

Me...
No -- you f'ck nuckloe.. unless you can prove it's an excused absence.... and good luck with that...

Ummm... I'm Dr. ItPF -- or , I'm I -- or even Dr. I, but "hey"... a bit too familiar... just because I use humor in class doesn't mean that I want to be your buddy, facebook friend or confidant. I'm here to teach you s'it... not be your pal.

End of summer...

FB and his son came north with me this weekend to see Super Mom...

Here are FB and FBS, fishing -- something FBS has recently decided is a thing he'd like to do.

It was really a perfect way to spend a couple of hours -- calm by the lake, waves lapping, trees rustling and me with my camera.

The rest of the trip was good too -- seeing Super-Mom, hanging out around the fire and enjoying a beautiful part of the area --- in a whole new context.. You see, FB and FBS are guys, and talk like guys... so, I got a good dose of guy talk and perspective. It was a lot of fun, lots of laughter and occasional eye-watering (either from my companions, or laughter -- I'm not sure which).

Yea -- I'd do it again with those two -- what a pair!

Adventures in blended classes...

I did the first blended Biomedical Ethics class summer before last.. it was only moderately successful... they mostly did the on-line work, we had mostly normal classes and the only reason it was a blended class was because we needed to smoosh it into a time slot...

After that, I did a hybrid class where the students came 2 of 3 MWF class meetings, and I did all three --so, they did an hour's worth of on-line activity and I increased my workload by 1/3. The idea was that smaller class sizes for part of the class would increase class discussion and participation... but, not really.

I tried it again this past summer with about the same results. Now i'm starting three Ethics sessions that meet 75 minutes per week in person, with the other half on-line. Now I have an afternoon and a whole Tuesday to do their grading -- and I see them on Wed and Thurs -- with Thursday being THE Ethics day... with a 2:15 section and a 6:00-7:15 section.

I like this arrangement because it makes them write more -- which means I grade more... but, now at least I have the time to do it.

saving/selling souls...

Hubby's doing on-campus interviews this week... all at law firms (cuz, that's where lawyers work, mostly...).

Wise Woman made a comment about working the corporate law job -- and the climb to partner... The implication was that hubby had to sell his soul to make it happen...

I wonder if it has to be that way? I can see that it does happen, but I'm also holding out hope that Hubby's age and my status as an ethicist might make his career different...

One way or the other, Hubby's doing the interviews and hopefully will have a nice job as a result.. think good employment thoughts for him....

end of summer fun...

After Doody Daze (or, duty days... in admin speak), I was worn out and kind of overwhelmed.

On Thursday night I sat and stared into space for about four hours -- mostly because I needed the quiet time...

Friday, I decided that I needed some pal time -- so, I reconnected with old colleagues and welcomed new folks to our hallway -- in other words, I skipped a meeting or two..

Later in the afternoon I met FB to have a drink with an old friend from high school -- We had some good talk about life and love -- and FB drove his 85 Trans Am with the T tops off-- which was perfect summer fun in and of itself...

Afterward meeting our old friend, FB needed to make a Costco run -- which was exactly the kind of activity I needed, lots of laughing and talking -- and he was spending money... while I (for once) wasn't.

Today, I'm meeting another old friend for lunch - then we'll meet FB for coffee... of which he drinks a lot...

after all this fun, I may need to go back to work to get a break from my social life... hmmm...

ps... Hubby is getting good responses in OCI -- which law folks will get :) -- for the rest of you, the equivalent is having a nice number of conference interviews.... think good thoughts for hubby next week.