Thursday, September 09, 2010

An unusual situation...

...or, as FB's mother called it, an "awkward" situation... which is what my friendship with FB seems to be from the outside.... as a reminder, FB stands for Fake-Boyfriend -- (or, I suppose Facebook Boyfriend -- because we reconnected via facebook)... not F'ck buddy...

From the outside, it seems odd that a happily married ItPF and a single and straight FB would be very good friends. The kind of friends who communicate every day-- usually via exchange of texts -- who do routine errands together (going to Costco with FB is pretty fun!!), and who support one another in awkward or emotional family situations... FB and I generally travel well together in the car -- and Hubby doesn't have the time to do that stuff..

The thing is, the IfPF/FB thing works -- for us.

Hubby is seemingly what makes this awkward --- from the outside. Oddly enough, this week circumstances made it look as if FB were upset with me for something (he was just napping... for a long, long time -- thus, not responding to texts...) -- and Hubby was pretty concerned that I'd lose FB as my friend... and his.

The thing is, it's impossible to know how the FB situation would have happened -- or IF it would have happened, if I were single. Would we be such close friends with the potential for nookie looming out there? Would we be such close friends if one of us wanted nookie but the other wasn't interested? Would we be great friends who also have sex? It's impossible to know -- I know that FB and I are compatible in many ways that make for a great relationship -- but, incompatible in ways that make for a great marriage... We have very similar values, hopes and expectations of our partners -- but, very different acceptances of financial risk and acceptable spending patterns.

Maybe our friendship is exactly what it is because our compatibilities match and our differences aren't an issue... I don't have to worry that he won't be able to pay the cable bill -- and he doesn't have to be concerned that I'd easily spend $100 on a red leather bag --of which I seem to have a plethora... or $25 on a pedi -- and $75 on a wax...

In the end, there are only four people who really need to be concerned about the ItPF/FB relationship -- The two of us, Hubby and FB's son (with whom I get along with famously..). Those are the people directly impacted by our friendship -- who could be hurt by it if they didn't understand it -- and who see us individually and together on a regular basis... and anybody else who isn't directly concerned can suck it!! :).

1 comment:

BarbS said...

It sounds as if FB is really like a great brother, one that you get along with really well and hang out with a lot, and if you were actual siblings, no one else would give the relationship a second thought. So maybe FB should stand for fake brother? Seriously, though, as long as the four of you involved understand that the relationship is in no way a threat to your marriage, it is no one else's business how it looks from the outside!