Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Staying in Grad School

I've been reading some grad student's blogs about their decisions not to stay in grad school. I suppose it is a bit odd to read a whole series of blog posts, but I find it pretty interesting... kind of like reality TV, only the "characters" are real people I like and I care about.... so i really want to know how it comes out.

As I read, I think back (seems sooooo long ago) to my coursework. I didn't really recall a time at which I thought seriously about quitting -- instead, for me, it was a low-level wondering why I kept doing it and going to class.

Oddly enough, I think one of the main reasons I stayed in school was because of the sexism of my graduate advisor. He was a complete ass, who didn't take me seriously and pretty much asked if I had hubby's permission to be in grad school. I wanted to show the asshat he was wrong... so I finished.

It is a bit sad to say, but I outlasted the jerk in the department---as he had a heart attack an retired and I was still there.

On the other hand, I can say that I completely understand the decision of the bloggers I've been reading. One of them writes very honestly about not being a good writer and feeling as if she had nothing to contribute in class. I can easily say that I know the feeling. Hubby is such a good writer compared to me, he could easily make us all feel inferior in that regard -- welcome to the club :). I do think it might have helped if the bloggers I've been reading could see hubby's writing process... lots of procrastination, lots of nashing of teeth and plenty of playing of video games whlie he "thinks" -- it really isn't as easy as he may have made it look in class... and, not to out him (he's a fourth year, so it seems pretty safe) -- but he had some of those same insecurities in his first year or two as well -- maybe parli just made him better at BS than policy made some of the rest of y'all :).

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