Friday, December 04, 2009

Dissertation progress...

Chapter 3 is revised -- yes, editing remains, but for now I have two chapters left...

and, in so many ways I have Hubby to thank. Just as I was realizing that I might actually defend next semester, one of my songs dedicated to Hubby came up on my dissertation play list.. Because he loves me...

Of course, because I'm pretty perverse... this came up next... "Life's Gonna Suck"

But -- because Hubby's having a rough day -- I thought I'd include a special message to him...

If you can't handle schmaltzy commentary on the lyrics... stop reading :).

"Because You Loved Me"

For all those times you stood by me
You always stood by me -- I've been blessed to have you on my side for 20 years...

For all the truth that you made me see
like, that I'm actually smart enough to write a dissertation...

For all the joy you brought to my life
we laugh every day -- even chemo days, cancer days, icky days... every day.When we're old, they'll think we're senile -- but, we'll just be speaking our own language of jokes, jabs and unique-to-us weirdness... after 70ish years of marriage, I can't imagine anything else.

For all the wrong that you made right
I couldn't ask for a better advocate -- you'll make one hell of a lawyer...

For every dream you made come true
I couldn't begin to list them...

For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
absolute truth -- no doubt -- even if you make me crazy or cranky, this is still true.

You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
Cancer, chemo, the death of my sister and my friend Sara... BA, MA, ABD, soon to be Ph.D... and so much more. You were there.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
I know that it's simply luck that I have you with me -- I can't have done anything good enough to deserve you. I am so lucky to have you on my side -- now and forever.

You saw the best there was in me
I know I'd never have accomplished what I have without you.

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
Your unwavering faith in me seems to be endless... and for that I love you.

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were the one who felt the lump -- without that, I may have waited years... and may not be here. As it is, I know I wouldn't be teaching philosophy and finishing a dissertation without your love and support.

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
You make me think about things in a new way -- see the world with a new perspective. Everything is possible -- for someone who is often skeptical, you are really a dreamer and I love you for that.

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
When I was bald, tired and had only one boob -- you saw me, not cancer. You encouraged me to think beyond cancer, chemo and the clinic. You encouraged me to work on my dissertation -- not to let the worst summer ever get in my way.

I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
Blessed isn't strong enough -- but it's the best I can do. Your love has been a pure gift -- one I don't deserve, but am grateful for every day...

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
Carried, cajoled and pushed when I needed it. You know just how to do it -- I'm not sure how, but you do.

A light in the dark shining your love into my life
even when I'm pretty un-lovable, you've been there.

You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
Even if the Jedi Mind Trick doesn't work on me :).

My world is a better place because of you
and I have a hard time imagining my world without you. We've grown up together, we're an amazing team and everything I do to support you in law school could never come close to repaying what you've given me.

Remember -- we're a good team -- law school is just another challenge we'll tackle together.
I love you!!

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