Secret messages to people on TV...

First --- I have to admit I watch both the "Real Housewives of _____" and "The Girls Next Door"... Not very academic etc... but, get over it..

To NeNe (RHW of Atlanta): 1) Don't talk BS about people on camera. All that stuff you are saying is being recorded and you should know they are going to show it and you'll be busted. 2) We don't need to see all of your boob-crack. Please buy some shirts that cover your front. 3) Also -- learn some 4th grade math -- 1/3 is smaller than 1/2 -- don't argue with your sweet husband when he says otherwise.

To Kim (RHW of Atlanta): Sweetie, wanting to sing and being able to do so are two different things. Just because you are friends with the producer dude doesn't mean you have a good voice. Listening to you sing on TV was pretty painful -- please take a whole lot of voice coaching before you sing on TV again. Also, for the record, people with real money and 'class' don't have to talk about it -- think about why you do.

To the husbands of the RHW of Atlanta: Y'all are really sweet to put up with those women. I'm constantly impressed by the way you simply act with dignity, grace and class. Keep it up --- you have a lot to teach your wives and children.

To Holly (Girls Next Door) : Don't you think it is kind of weird that your life is revolving around finding hot girls for the magazine? Also -- you are attractive, you don't need to flash your butt to prove it.

To Kendra (Girls Next Door): Pretending not to know you are a celebrity isn't attractive -- be gracious and accept the attention. Also -- try not to let your ignorance show so much -- and, since you are now out of the mansion -- get an education. You won't be hot and 22 forever...