A secret message to "C"

Dear C,

I really don't know you well -- or, rather I know a lot about you from other sources, but I don't know you.

Today I spoke with you on the phone. I'd hoped that what "they" said was wrong. My hopes were dashed today...

You said that you're upset because you feel out of control -- no, you're upset because something horrible happened to you. I also think you don't like being out of control -- but, the real reason is the horrible thing that happened.

You think people are trying to take charge -- no, they're not. They're in pain as well and they say they can't imagine how horrible it is for you-- and they want to help.

All the money in the world won't reverse what happened. It won't even make you feel any better. Telling me that people are giving checks -- but they aren't giving them to you -- told me all I need to know. This horrible thing wasn't a reason for you to cash in -- although, in the end, it may end up that way, if you have a good lawyer.

From what "they" say, I have to wonder if money will make any difference in your life?

I spent many hours with a close friend of mine who was directly impacted by you. I often had to remind hir that you and s/he weren't identical, that s/he didn't have to follow your path, and that no matter what you said to hir, your words weren't reflecting hir reality.

I'm going to bury that stuff for a while -- because I can. I'm going to focus on the positive pretend the crap you and your minion did to hir wasn't the case -- because, now it's too late.

You see -- I don't see the purpose of making a fuss when there is no way to reverse the misdeeds. The nature of the horrible thing that happened is that you can't go back and apologize, be the person you should have been all along, and generally try to repair the damage done. This is the exact opposite of your theory -- but I think my approach is better in the long run.

So, hang in there -- and, if you can manage it, figure out how to be better in the future. It isn't too late overall -- it's just too late for one person.