Friday, December 08, 2006

Open Question

H'okay so...

I have a question for all the IPF readers out there.

IPF, aka Philosophy Queen, wants me to go to a Christmas party given by the Redhead in a couple of weeks. No problem, right? I mean, I don't really like parties and Redhead has hated my guts for approximately 20 years now, but whatever.

Ok, Philosophy Queen had another little piece of news. Redhead also invited Philosophy Queen's old Dumb Boyfriend. This is the guy that treated Philosophy Queen like dirt, and responded to her announcement that she was breaking up with him by saying, "thanks for ruining my weekend" and "what am I going to tell my mom." They even asked him if he would be uncomfortable with me there and he said (no kidding) that it was ok as long as "they aren't hanging on each other."

So, here's the questions: How obligated am I to be nice to Dumb Boyfriend? Don't I get some "rubbing his nose in it" privileges? Or since I won and he lost, am I supposed to be magnanimous even though he still apparently thinks he has some kind of claim on her?

Please also give me your opinions about the best ways to torture him.


susan said...

I popped over to say Happy Birthday to the Queen herself! So I guess I'll say Hi to hubby and happy b-day to the IPF.

On the party: I'm a big fan of Miss Manners, and while a quick scan of the column index I just found doesn't have anything totally on point for your current dilemma, it does have something vaguely analagous at I'd say, take the high road and don't get into retaliatory meanspiritedness: that's not a happy way to spend a night. It's a party: presumably there should be some more fun people there for you two to hang with than an obnoxious former boyfriend, no?

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Yay for posting-hubbies! My first instinct would be to rub his nose in it, but on second thought, even that acknowledges his importance too much. Go for complete nonrecognition, and then mild pleasant surprise when several hours into the party you notice him. Being nice can actually be the evillest option!

Rhonda said...

I find that being super nice to people who hate me is the best revenge. If he's polite about it, then he'll have to spend the evening being pleasant to someone he doesn't want to be pleasant to -- which is torture enough. If he's not polite, then he looks like an ass in front of everyone else -- after all, you were so nice to him, but he just can't seem to get over himself. Tsk.

It can also be great fun if the person is expecting you to be still bothered by their very presence. If you seem to not care one whit about him, he'll start to wonder if, really, he's just so insignificant in the face of your great happiness. Good fun, that.

And, most importantly, this form of torture makes no one but him uncomfortable. The rest of the party will only notice how nice you are!

Dr. Crazy said...

Hmmm.... do you KNOW this ex? If not, and if you follow P/H's advice, you might, when finally you DO recognize him, say something not overtly rude but along the lines of, "Oh, you know, you don't look anything like I thought you would."

That'll have that guy thinking for the next two weeks about how he doesn't measure up at all to anybody's descriptions of him.

Also, I'd say that you can engage in as much "hanging on each other" as the two of you deem appropriate - you are MARRIED after all.

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Ooo, nice touch, Dr. Crazy.